Wednesday, January 23, 2013


Once again, I was going to start this post with an apology for not posting in almost a year just like I did last April . . . but then I got thinking about how God just wants us to turn from our old ways and not waste time on apologies. So now, I turn back towards my worship of Him without fear of letting Him (and you) down.

During my hiatus from posting, I have gone through many trials and troubles. I have been brought down by stress, responsibilities, and countless worthless worries. I have also watched people that I love get brought down by things of this world. So this post is for all of us who are living in fear and regret.

Deuteronomy 31:6 (ESV) Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.
As a self-proclaimed control freak, I constantly struggle with letting go of my worries, my stress, my issues, and my faults. I think that if I just worked harder, I could fix everything on my own. To my dismay, I am proven wrong every single time.

God is the only one who is in control, the only one who can give me peace, the only one who can keep my life in control. The more I try to do things myself, the more gloriously I fail!

I pray that those of you struggling would just give up! No, not give up on yourselves, but give up trying to fix things on your own. God promises to keep us safe in his arms if we hand ov
er the reigns completely to Him.  He doesn't say that it is easy or comfortable . . . He just tells us that it is necessary.  We need to turn to Him because He is there, He is strong, He is loving, and He is capable of doing everything we can't do!
Safe by Phil Wickham    To the one who's dreams are falling all apart and all you're left with is a tired and broken heart.  I can tell by your eyes, you think your on your own; but you're not alone.  Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas?  Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet?  With a love so strong and never let you go.  No, you're not alone.   You will be safe in His arms.  You will be safe in His arms.  'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart.  This is the promise He made: He will be with You always.  When everything is falling apart, you will be safe in His arms.  Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life is the very same voice that calls you now to rise?  So hear Him now, He's calling you home.  You will never be alone.  These are the hands that built the mountains, the hands that calm the seas.  These are the arms that hold the heavens, they are holding you and me.  These are hands that healed the leper, pulled the lame up to their feet.  These are the arms that were nailed to a cross to break our chains and set us free.
So will you rest in His arms?  Will you trust that you are safe there?  I'm the first to admit that it's not easy . . . but it's what we all NEED!

Friday, April 6, 2012


As I was flipping through the channels last week, I stopped on channel twenty three and American Idol was on.  A show that I haven't watched all year long; and yet, I found myself watching the first singer of the night.  He began his song and I realized that I recognized every single word.  It was a worship song that I've loved for years . . . and it was being sung on national television!

I know that God brought me to that channel that night.  I didn't watch any of the other contestants, I didn't watch any more of the episode at all, I just went to my computer and found the song to listen to.  The song then lead me straight here, to my blog.  A place I haven't visited in much too long.  Yet here I am: writing. 

Every time it happens, God's timing still surprises me.  He always gives us just what we need at the perfect moment to reveal Himself to us.  My life has been hectic lately to say the least.  And to be honest, I haven't made time to get right with Him.  Yet He still is ever-faithful.  He persistently calls out to me, pursues me. 

This year I've faced so many challenges.  I often found myself using the metaphor that "I'm drowning, just trying to keep my head above water."  I have faced pressures at work, conflict in my relationships, and a lack of patience at home.  It's like my wheels are turning, yet I'm getting nowhere. 

Still, no matter how crazy things get, how busy I feel, how desperate I am . . . He is there.  He extends me His hand at the exact moment I reach out for it. 

I barely recognized my need while God was already calling to me.  I know He's been calling me for a long time, He's known my needs and desires.  Even when I'm not willing to listen, He is calling for me to return to him. 
Isaiah 65:24 (NIV)  Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear. God calling you today?  Is He reaching out to you?  Have you even stopped to listen?

Everything by Lifehouse   Find me here and speak to me.  I want to feel you, I need to hear you.  You are the light that's leading me to the place where I find peace again.  You are the strength that keeps me walking.  You are the hope that keeps me trusting.  You are the life to my soul.  You are my purpose; You're everything . . . You calm the storms and you give me rest.  You hold me in your hands; You won't let me fall.  You steal my heart and you take my breath away.  Would you take me in, take me deeper now?  And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?  Cause you're all I want, you're all I need.  You're everything, everything.

I don't know what you're going through, but I know that no matter what it is, He is there for you.  Just reach out and let Him hold you . . .

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

My Hope Is In You

As I sit down to write this blog entry, I realize that it has been almost exactly one year since my last post.  What in the world has happened? . . . LIFE!  Within the last year, I continued teaching, working on my Graduate Degree, and spending time being a devoted wife & aunt.  All to which I added the addition of becoming a coach.  My husband and I now coach the local high school ski team together and we're sure that God wants us to be reaching these kids.  On the flipside, such a great responsibility brings about countless hours of organization, reflection, stress, and busyness.

I'm not making excuses; in fact, I am admitting that nothing in life should be an excuse for growing distant from the Lord.  Unfortunately, this is exactly what I allowed to happen.  Another momentous event this year was that a close coworker of mine was diagnosed with inoperable cancer.  The news has devastated our school and community.

While many of us are struggling with the news of her diagnosis, she is a testament to God's grace in how she is handling the events.  Her faith, strength, and peace are admirable.  Upon reflecting, I realized that I need to rely on God as surely as my coworker is.  I was reminded of my need to put my hope in him.   

Psalm 91:2 (NIV) I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
This scripture verse is a reminder of how our trust, our faith, and our hope needs to be in God.  It can't be satisfied by being busy, being successful, building relationships, or anything else in this world.  Nothing in our lives can replace the sense of fulfillment that we receive from a strong relationship with Christ. 

He is our refuge.  He our sustainer and healer.  He is our Lord.

As I was reflecting about my dear coworker and sending off a card to her in the mail, I found this song on the internet.  It's funny how God can bring something to you at just the right time.  It has been playing nonstop on my laptop since I heard it. 

My Hope Is In You by Aaron Shust    I meet with You and my soul sings out as Your word throws doubt far away.  I sing to You and my heart cries, "Holy! Hallelujah!  Father, You're near!"  My hope is in You, Lord, all the day long.  I won't be shaken by drought or storm.  A peace that passes understanding is my song and I sing My hope is in You, Lord.  I wait for You and my soul finds rest.  In my selfishness, You show me grace.  I worship You and my heart cries, "Glory!  Hallelujah!  Father, You're here!"  My hope is in You, Lord, all the day long.  I won't be shaken by drought or storm.  A peace that passes understanding is my song and I sing My hope is in You, Lord.  I will wait on You.  You are my refuge.  My hope is in You, Lord. 
This song and scripture verse are testaments of our need to put all of our hope in Him.  When we give Him our all, He gives us a peace that we can't even comprehend.  Even though it's hard to remember when we are bombarded with all the distractions in our lives, it's the only way to survive.   

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Everlasting God

Lately, I have been searching and wishing for a roadmap for my life.  I want to know where I'm going and exactly what is coming next for me.  Wouldn't it be great if we could be totally prepared for the journey? 

Well, we are completely prepared...when we put our trust in God.  See the sacrifice?  It's putting our trust in Him, not in ourselves. 
Even when things are busy and overwhelming, He is in control.  When things are frustrating, He is calm.  And when we can't do it anymore, He is there. 
Psalm 25:10 (NLT) The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness all who keep His covenant and obey his demands.
With all the craziness in my life, it is hard to put my faith in someone other than myself.  I try my best to get things done and to make things go the way I think that they should....but when is there time to sleep?  I can't do it on my own! 

I am in complete awe of the fact that God is always there and is in perfect control of this world.  He is in control of our jobs, our families, our fears, and our hearts.  We need to constantly remind ourselves to give Him our trust.  He is, after all, a truly faithful God. 
God is faithful through the storms and the sun, through the tears and the smiles, through whatever it is that you are facing right now.  He is Everlasting.
Everlasting God by New Life Worship     One thing I know that I have found, through all the troubles that surround: You are the Rock that never fails. You never fail. One thing I know that I believe, through every blessing I receive: You are the only One that stays. You always stay. You never change. You're still the same. You are the Everlasting God. You will remain after the day is gone and the things of earth have passed. Everlasting God. One thing I know that I have found, through all the troubles that surround: You are the Rock that never fails. You never fail. You never change. You're still the same. You are the Everlasting God. You will remain after the day is gone and the things of earth have passed. Everlasting God.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Empty My Hands

No matter how hard I try, I always feel like I have to be a planner.  I want to plan every detail of every day so that things happen perfectly.  But do they ever?

I consistently forget that God has all the plans - and, unlike mine, His are perfect!  No matter how much I organize and think and decide . . . things will never be exactly what I expect.  But, they will always be the way that God intends them to be.  He always intends great things for us when we let Him work in our lives. 
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)  "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Lately, I have been run down by my thoughts that tell me how I want things to go.  I have my own plans and visions for the future and I get so caught up in what I want to happen.  Why can't I give God the room to control what is going to happen?

Over the past few days, I did manage to let God take over.  I went on a trip with some friends to Lake Placid, New York.  I didn't pick the location, the hotel, the schedule - I didn't plan any of it!  I have to admit that I was nervous heading on a road trip without a plan; but, as always, God is faithful!
We booked an amazing hotel suite, the weather was perfect, the food was delicious, and I survived a 14 mile hike!  I would not have been able to have such an amazing experience if I had not allowed God the room to work. 

As my husband and I go through life's transitions that are ahead of us, I know that we both need to give God the control.  Our plans are futile compared to His. 

This song has been playing on a CD in my car for about a month; but I didn't fully understand the meaning of this song until this past week!  It is all about giving up our own desires and plans and expectations for God's perfect plans and power.  As hard as it is to give these things over to God, the rewards are incredible and indescribable.  God is great!

Empty My Hands by Tenth Avenue North   I've got voices in my head and they are so strong.  And I'm getting sick of this. Oh, Lord how long will I be haunted by the fear that I believe?  My hands like locks on cages of these dreams I can't set free.  But if I let these dreams die, if I lay down all my wounded pride, if I let these dreams die, will I find that letting go lets me come alive?  So empty my hands; fill up my heart; capture my mind with You.  These voices speak instead and what's right is wrong.  And I'm giving into them.  Please, Lord, how long will I be held captive by the lies that I believe?  My heart's in constant chaos and it keeps me so deceived.  But if I let these dreams die, if I could just lay down my dark desire, if I let these dreams die, will I find You brought me back to life?  My mind is like a building burning down.  I need Your grace to keep me, keep me from the ground.  And my heart is just a prisoner of war - a slave to what it wants and to what I'm fighting for. 

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Healing Begins

This past weekend was Memorial Day Weekend and was -- as always -- filled with picnics, friends, and family.  The weekend was also filled with God's power and Spirit!

Right now, with everything going on in my life, all I can do is thank God for His unending faithfulness.  The Lord has been working in my family's life and it is hard to describe how I'm feeling at this point in time.  God is calling my husband and I to work for Him in a way that we were not expecting at this moment.  We are excited for what God has in store for us, but also sad about ending our service at our current church.  All we can do is trust that He is in control: of our hearts, our futures, and our feelings.  
Psalm 103:1-5 (NLT)   Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise His holy name.  Let all that I am praise the Lord, may I never forget the good things he does for me.  He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases...He fills my life with good things.  My youth is renewed like the eagle's!
Even though things are going according to God's plan, that's not to say that some things don't still hurt.  My feelings and emotions have been heightened through the ups and downs of the weekend's events.  In the midst of all of my inner emotional struggles, God spoke to me during a worship service.  I was reminded of this song by Tenth Avenue North as I sat in a church pew and cried.

God reminded me that I have to give everything over to Him.  I can't just trust Him with some parts of my life, I have to let all of my walls down and let Him be in control of everything!  

It has been so long since I have truly laid down all of myself to the Lord.  I had been trying to keep up appearances, be confident in my own strength, and act like I had everything together.  God reminded me that, through whatever may come, I need to give myself up to His control.

As I tore down my walls of pride, God began to show me that He can bring me through anything.  Just when I though that I could never be saved from hurting, He healed my heart.
Healing Begins by Tenth Avenue North      So you thought you had to keep this up, all the work that you do so we think that you're good.  And you can't believe it's not enough.  All the walls you built up are just glass on the outside.  So let them fall down.  There's freedom waiting in the sound when you let your walls fall to the ground.  We're here now.  This is where the healing begins.  This is where the healing starts.  When you come to where you're broken within.  The light meets the dark.  The light meets the dark.  Afraid to let your secrets out.  Everything that you hide can come crashing through the door now.  But too scared to face all your fear, so you hide but you find that the shame won't disappear.  Sparks will fly as grace collides with the dark inside of us.  So please don't fight this coming light.  Let this blood cover us.  His blood can cover us.  
No matter what you are feeling, He knows how to heal you.  Even when you don't know what you need from Him, He is waiting for you to break down your barriers and run into His loving arms.  

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

You Are More

This weekend, I saw God work in my life in a new way.  I was blessed with the chance to share my testimony at a teen girl sleepover.  I didn't talk about when I found God on this particular night; rather, I talked about the relationship choices I had made throughout my life.  I shared my story with perfect strangers in the hopes that my experiences could inspire the teen girls at the event.  I felt God speaking through me and I know that He used my story to impact lives. 

I can only give thanks to God for allowing me to take down my walls and become both brave enough and vulnerable enough to share myself with others.  As I shared my successful decisions as well as my epic mistakes, I reminded these girls (and myself) that God does not dwell on our pasts.  He simply wants our hearts right now. 
Romans 3:23-24 (NLT)  For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.
Because of what Jesus did for us on the cross, we can be washed completely clean.  Even though we sin every day and make mistake after mistake, God still loves us more than we can even know.  Can you believe that? 

I try to comprehend that fact daily.  It is so hard to wrap my head around it.  He loves me no matter what.  It is not by my own works that I am saved (thank goodness!) . . . it is only through His sacrifice that I am worth anything! 
This song reminds us of God's undeserved grace!  Take the time to thank Him for the fact that He does not give us what we deserve, but that He died for us so we could live forever with Him.  If our life worth was determined by our own actions, we would be counted as worthless.  But with Jesus' ultimate act of love, we can live and know that with God, our lives are worth more. 
You Are More by Tenth Avenue North   There's a girl in the corner with tear stains on her eyes from the places she's wandered and the shame she can't hide.  She says, "How did I get here?  I'm not who I once was.  And I'm crippled by the fear that I've fallen too far to love."  But don't you know who you are?  What has been done for you?  And don't you know who you are?  You are more than the choices that you've made.  You are more than the sum of your past mistakes.  You are more than the problems you create.  You've been remade.  Well, she tries to believe it, that she's been given new life.  But she can't shake the feeling that it's not true tonight.  She knows all the answers and she's rehearsed all the lines.  So she'll try to do better, but then she's too weak to try.  'Cause this is not about what you've done, but what's been done for you.  This is not about where you've been, but where your brokenness brings you to.  This is not about what you feel, but what He felt to forgive you and what He felt to make you new.